New Town, New Friends

It's a never ending saga when you move from place to place. The moment you get comfortable, the bags get packed and you must start anew. There's something encouraging about having a support system where you don't have to explain your Idiosyncrasies. On the other hand, it's exciting to learn about new people and share yourself in a way that many of your childhood friends may not view you. Regardless, with each new transition, I, at times, find myself longing for old friends.

Chicago has been a different transition however. There are four of us (plus a spouse) who attended Darden together and hang out regularly. Thanks to knowing a couple of Darden 2009 graduates, I've branched out and joined a new soccer team. Even after multiple weeks on the pitch together, I still struggle to learn everyone's name. I'm getting better though. The girls have started including me in their invite lists and for that, I'm extremely appreciative. I missed the last one which included each lady bringing and consuming her own bottle of wine. sounds zealous and I have to imagine very entertaining. The team's fearsome leader threw a small soiree on Saturday night including mojitos, rum punch, a BBQ and delicious rainbow mini cupcakes. Everyone likes to be included and I feel like I'm finally meeting new people that could become more than acquaintances. I also received my transfer email from Junior League (6 months later.. it was about time). I'm looking forward to getting involved in the community and there's no better time than summer in Chicago!

Plus, with my new found support group and three friends coming to visit this weekend, this year's birthday should definitely be fun!

Don't Get Too Excited!!

I suppose I should start by announcing that I have accepted a full time position!! While this is very exciting news, it also means that I start work May 24th, which is the day after I graduate. I had dreams about attending the 2010 World Cup in South Africa and traveling the world for the two months prior to joining some unknown firm. Unfortunately, none of these trips will be taken, and I'll settle for a week on the west coast, some time moving and then of course, the silver lining to second year, BEACH WEEK! The good news is, I'm excited about the position and the thought of making $$$ again!!

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a planner. Though I'm a planner only in how it relates to plane flights, hotel rooms and transportation to and from the airport. Most trips, I show up and will figure out what I'm doing doing/ seeing when I get there. So here I am planning again. The official communication about beach week reached our inbox today. I'm already trying to figure out how to get to California, move, attend beach week, then graduation and hopefully arrive in my new home in time for Day 1. Plus, maybe a trip to Vegas for Memorial Day Weekend! When I think about the fact that graduation is almost exactly 4 months from today, it seems silly that I'm trying to be so prepared. It's as if I'm ready to return to the states for Q4 and graduate, stepping forward to the next chapter. I can't help but remind myself to not get too excited. I mean this is it, right? No more school. No more living across the street from these friends. No more instant parties with 50 of your closest business school buddies. No more TNDC, first coffee, HBS cases, HBR articles, insanely smart peers, tormenting first years with new Darden cases, and no more stressing about finals and feeling the joy when they're over. It's crazy to think.

So in the meantime, I try to take a breath and keep my feet on the ground, while I contemplate venturing to Rome next weekend with my classmates who are on exchange. Maybe that will remind me that I have quite a few adventures left in this chapter.

Solo Weekend

Atlanta is your typical big city with lots to offer! That said, enjoying many of the places and sights is better spent with someone than solo. Though that may be true, my weekend included a lot of alone time. It seems that the majority of people I know in this town had ventured off to finer places. On Friday night I went for a walk and stopped for a late supper. I sat at the bar next to a local who looked like she was doing "homework." Turns out she was analyzing an inventory report for her first 3 weeks of business. We spoke at length about anything and everything. She has two daughters, one who attends Haas ironically enough. She opened a children's clothing store 3 weeks ago and frequents the restaurant I was in. She asked if I needed some extra money, to which my imagination flashed back to the days of working retail with fickle customers. I declined, but inquired as to if she was looking for extra help. She said she had one project - she needed someone to set up an accounting system. I was a bit baffled as that would be on the top of my priority list for a new business, but I guess that's the difference between designer and number-nerd. All the same, I said I'd be interested, not for the funds, but for the experience. I emailed her when I returned home, but haven't received a response. Oh well... more time for me.

Saturday I watched a few movies and wandered around the area. I was starting to feel lonely as hanging out by yourself in a new city is only so fun. I still don't know where the usual amenities are. Saturday night, I ventured out again, but this time for a drink. I walked up and down N. Highland and settled on a bar whose name reminds me of a Boulder bar from undergrad. I walked in to see one of the other interns there, out for his brother's bachelor party. It looked almost too tame for me. The boys might as well have been on a houseboat - with no females! We spoke for a while and after my drink I headed home.

Sunday mirrored much of Saturday. I grabbed breakfast at a fabulous local joint. Ate at the bar and people-watched. The entire weekend made me realize just how hard it can be to move to a new city. Most of my moves have been for education, which allows for instant friends, this move is quite different. I've scoured the net for soccer teams too, but to no avail. However, my friend from college who lives here says that I can play with her next season (starting soon). I'm going through mild withdrawals since my Vegas tournament!!

In better news, my boyfriend comes in on Friday and there is plenty to do in the area with Summerfest happening about a 100 yards from my house. I'm also planning a trip back to CA in August!

Thanksgiving: Part Un, Deux, Trois

The much needed break is finally here!! At 1:10 this afternoon we finished classes for an entire 5 days! After a number of reading days in Q1 and close to none in Q2, I'm excited for a break from cases, Darden and C'ville.

I've already had two Thanksgiving feasts this week and I'm happy to report, I don't feel fat yet. A holiday that celebrates gluttony... who invented that? Only Americans. Anyhow, enough about the origins. On Saturday night 12 FYs gathered at a flat just off the downtown mall to give thanks. The turkey was amazing, however, I missed dessert due to a last minute networking event. In all honesty, I was happy. I didn't need anymore food. The fun part about Saturday night was simply being around people. Some days I feel so young, but that was one of those that put life in perspective. We're here, we're getting our MBAs and we WILL be the future leaders of America. Crazy to think.

Last night, I skipped learning team and attended Thanksgiving at a SY's house. I was one of five FYs invited and one of three who showed. I'll admit, I was happy to see that I knew a number of the SYs there. At the same time, I met and talked with a few new people. Everyone was very warm and probably didn't know if I was a girlfriend or a FY, until the host kindly pointed out each of the FYs. Again, the food was amazing and this time I did have dessert. I feel very lucky to be in such a good place in my life right now. Further, I was told numerous times that it was the job of this select group of FYs to continue the tradition. I know who is cutting the turkey, I can organize, but I'm not sure what KM's purpose is. ;)

Finally, I will attend the real Thanksgiving this Thursday. My parents fly in this evening, my brother comes tomorrow and on Thursday, we will drive to the Greenbrier in West VA. This is a family tradition that has continued for the past 10 plus years. Though there will be 25 of us this year, I'm hoping I can steal some time to focus on my cover letters and accounting review slides.

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Rant: Entitlement

I am like most people. I get along with a vast majority of people. But there is one type of person that gets under my skin, those that feel entitlement. Why do people feel they have the right to always be included? Fact is, life is seldom fair. You won't always be on the invite list and perhaps it has nothing to do with you. Maybe someone could only invite a select few, maybe they thought you'd be uncomfortable, it could be you don't mesh well with the common group or perhaps it just slipped their mind.

What do these people do that they think they should receive the "benefit" of an invitation? Nowhere does it state that it is required. And more often than not, these people use the tactics of manipulation to con their way into an invitation. Why should you feel bad for not inviting someone to say a ball game? A night out on the town? Dinner? A trip? Yes, I'm sure people would love to go, but simply put, not everyone may be invited. If I invited everyone I knew to a bar on Friday night, then there wouldn't be anyone I didn't know. Isn't that half the fun of going out and living? Meeting new people? Sharing experiences?

I am a "more the merrier" type of person, but do not think that I don't get disgruntled by people inviting themselves. Most the time, I will tell you to come along or meet me there, no big deal. But sometimes, it's nice to have some one on one time. Sometimes it's nice not to have to juggle multiple conversations. Those that feel entitlement always seem to take things personally as well. Invitations or lack there of aren't about taking things personally. It's about the event, the company or some variation of both. If you harp on me and make it personal, I will most likely consciously not invite you the next time.

Surface Friends

You spend so much time getting to really know someone to have your friendship disappear. Are people really more interesting on the surface than underneath? They say you can make a fairly adequate judgement in the first 2 seconds of meeting someone as to whether or not you like them, but the world we live in today stresses well thought out decisions. Do you truly make a better decision by digging deeper into someone or have you just ignored your first impression and are doomed to fail as friends at a later date?

Why is it some relationships grow for years and others disappear within months? Is it the positive energy of two people that keep them afloat? Is is honesty and truth? Is it better communication? Respect? Or is it just a fact that two people can be doomed from the start?

I have friends that I wonder if I had met them today, if I would still be friends with them. Does history count for something? If I answer no, then why is it, I am willing to put so much effort into what seems to be an always struggling relationship. So perhaps in essence history does count for something. Meeting new people can be very interesting. This is your chance to start from square one. They know nothing about you, but you also know nothing about them. What each of you says is counted as truth and there is no reason to suspect anything else. However, if one thing is found to be false, then is it all false? Do "minor" lies hold more weight than major ones or should it all be looked at on the same scale. A lie is a lie. There always seems to be something exciting about new people, but is there something that is also inherently scary. I never think of it much as being scary, but perhaps to certain people it is.

There is a comfort zone when people actually know you. They know more than your name is Paige and you are from California. Even the fact that I routinely play soccer on Friday nights could be considered "surface". They know that it is guaranteed that I will order pancakes when going out to breakfast. That I put up a wall to make sure I don't get hurt. That I act tough more than I should as another defense. That I forgive more than I should because everybody needs a second chance and maybe a third. Do our weaknesses differentiate our surface relationships from those that we would consider close?

The Comfort of Sleeping Next to Somone

Why is it you feel safe with a guy's arms wrapped around you? You feel comforted by the fact that there is someone to protect you. Yet there are some people you can sleep next to comfortably, and others that you just pray they will go home soon. Is there something intimate about sharing a bed? If so, why is so acceptable for siblings to share a bed? Are there different circumstance as to when it is intimate and not? If you share a bed with your best guy friend, does that fall under sibling? Whereas with your boyfriend, is that intimate? When you first meet someone, does your initial interaction within a relationship dictate which heading "sleeping in the same bed" will fall under? And can it change?

Can you sleep with your significant other in complete comfort and after you break up, still be comfortable? Or does it immediately change to a sibling type of comfort? Is it perhaps just awkward due to feelings not being extinct? Can the comfort level change as time heals wounds?

I have slept next to people where the comfort level is unexplainable. It was this instant satisfaction. Everything felt right, fit right, and yet, nothing worked out. There are others, that I just hoped that they would get up early in the morning and scurry off. Him on his "side" and me on mine, trying to stay as far away as possible. So what made it so unbearable? Was it him and the impression I had gotten? Or was it the actions I was afraid he might take? Do some people just fit better than others?

Friends

Friends - we all have them, we all need them. They are the people that listen to the drama in our lives. They are the people that put smiles on our faces. They are the people that give us a reason to go out on Friday night. They are the people that make tomorrow better and yesterday a good memory. But how well do you know your friends? To say I have known someone for 5 years has a new meaning to me. Granted there is something different about a friend versus a significant other, but why is it we feel those significant others may know more about us than our friends ever will. Is it because they cared more to pay attention? Is it because they spent more time with us? Don't get me wrong, I have spent 10 days straight with a person, yet by the end of that time, you are annoyed with a friend and you feel comforted to have spent that time with your significant other. Does that make any sense? Because in all logic, a significant other is just a friend.

If you asked me how many of my friends keep journals, I could make a random guess, but I wouldn't have a clue how to answer that. I write. Mainly when I have things on my mind, but I also write nonsense. I write about the rain, the sun, passion, love, smiles, sadness, I write about anything I can think of. But I bet most of my friends don't know that. To say you know someone well is a funny thing. In these days where people can lead double lives very easily. Just because a phone rings, doesn't mean you have to answer it. And some people don't. The Internet is another story. Ever try to search for yourself on Google and see what comes up. Maybe nothing will, but there again, maybe there is something there. Funny thing is, you would never know unless you tried. We post information about ourselves on the Internet. Sometimes with our real names connected and other times with an alias so that no one really knows who we are. Is this in a way a double life? How do you really get to know a person? At what point do they become more a friend than an acquaintance?

I have a known a guy for almost 2 years now and about a week and a half ago I was told that we shouldn't talk at all anymore. I would have counted him as a friend, however his comment was acquaintances or whatever we are. Where is that line drawn? Granted we all do the how-do-you-dos? What is your name, where are you from, where did you grow up, what do you like to do, what type of music do you listen to, but isn't that all basic information. You could read that off a post and make a judgment if you so desired. Again I come back to what constitutes KNOWING someone? Do you only truly get to know someone by the experiences you have with them? Or is what they tell you enough? Then comes the question if you don't know them at all, they could logically tell you anything and you would just have to take it for the truth. Is that part of the get to know you game? You have to take everything someone says as real until you can make your own judgments.

It is funny when you talk to people you haven't talked to for a while. These "friends" only get to know the big things that happen in your life. Those people that you talk to every day get to hear the nonsense that goes on in your life. Is one better off than the other? I am 22 years old and I have lived for over 8000 days. Kind of funny when you put it into perspective like that. Most of the time when someone asks me what's going on, I say nothing. Perhaps I should just start giving them random facts about my life. Granted it isn't everyday that something "exciting" happens, but typically we learn something new every day and we share moments with people. Is that enough to be news worthy? Or is this the boring grind that people don't really want to hear about?

To my big question, how do you really get to know someone? What is it about a person that makes them more desirable to spend time with than another? What makes your best friends, best friends? Is it because you have known them the longest, share the most in common, or is it more than that? Do you share the same beliefs? Do you enjoy the same things? Do you have the same goals? Think about it.