Monday, August 08, 2005

Surface Friends

You spend so much time getting to really know someone to have your friendship disappear. Are people really more interesting on the surface than underneath? They say you can make a fairly adequate judgement in the first 2 seconds of meeting someone as to whether or not you like them, but the world we live in today stresses well thought out decisions. Do you truly make a better decision by digging deeper into someone or have you just ignored your first impression and are doomed to fail as friends at a later date?

Why is it some relationships grow for years and others disappear within months? Is it the positive energy of two people that keep them afloat? Is is honesty and truth? Is it better communication? Respect? Or is it just a fact that two people can be doomed from the start?

I have friends that I wonder if I had met them today, if I would still be friends with them. Does history count for something? If I answer no, then why is it, I am willing to put so much effort into what seems to be an always struggling relationship. So perhaps in essence history does count for something. Meeting new people can be very interesting. This is your chance to start from square one. They know nothing about you, but you also know nothing about them. What each of you says is counted as truth and there is no reason to suspect anything else. However, if one thing is found to be false, then is it all false? Do "minor" lies hold more weight than major ones or should it all be looked at on the same scale. A lie is a lie. There always seems to be something exciting about new people, but is there something that is also inherently scary. I never think of it much as being scary, but perhaps to certain people it is.

There is a comfort zone when people actually know you. They know more than your name is Paige and you are from California. Even the fact that I routinely play soccer on Friday nights could be considered "surface". They know that it is guaranteed that I will order pancakes when going out to breakfast. That I put up a wall to make sure I don't get hurt. That I act tough more than I should as another defense. That I forgive more than I should because everybody needs a second chance and maybe a third. Do our weaknesses differentiate our surface relationships from those that we would consider close?

No comments: