Dirty Laundry

There are some items that very much should be kept in private. I realize that and yet it’s harder and harder sometimes. Events affect our emotions and with that our daily lives. Everyone chooses to take on events differently. Some shout from the mountain tops, which likely include Facebook and Twitter updates. Others keep a low profile to the point where no one knows anything is wrong. I try to strike a balance and lately it’s getting harder. I have my confidants. Yet with each word that I speak I risk a new perception being formed. Partially about me and partially about others.

July 28th was my parents’ 32nd wedding anniversary and it may also be their last. For a couple who many of my friends envied as the definition of love, it’s hard to wrap my head around the turmoil currently in my family. I’m sad. I’m frustrated. Sometimes I just want to scream from the rooftops and others I know better than to say anything at all. It hurts to feel so incredibly helpless. It’s weird being almost 30 and a year away from my own wedding to watch destruction run rampant in front of my eyes. I realize over many years, some people grow together and others grow apart. Mutual wants at this age can be very different than those later in life.

The timing is bad. The moving parts are hard to comprehend. My brother is getting married in mid-June 2012 and I’ll likely be 2-3 months after that. I don’t want this overshadowing the happiness that is to come and yet it reminds me all too well of the difficulties that lie ahead. Maybe there’s hope or maybe this is just better for all parties involved.