It's been a rough day for a Tuesday. My husband and I woke to ants all over a chocolate cake my mom had purchased for a party. The cake was compromised and we ran out of the house late due to the ant clean up. My wedding photographer called and said that the flash card used to take our bridal party photos is corrupt. Therefore, it's likely that they're all lost. I know the bright side is I still have a roof over my head and the rest of my wedding photos are fantastic. It just puts a wrench in the mode.
And I just hit send on an email to one of my business partners calling out a mistake in my model, which was used to recommend our entire 2013 compensation plan. I had an internal struggle with 1) how to approach the subject and 2) is it better to call out mistakes and look incompetent or is it better to deal with the results on the back-end. Obviously I picked to face the challenge head on. It's not an easy call though. Given that I'm still very new in this job, I pushed to make a good impression. I brought Monte-Carlo analysis into modeling where previously the picture had been quite static. For a period, I looked like a rockstar. And right now, I feel like I'm the size of an ant.
I can't figure out if my expectations are too high or if someone else's are. My previous employer gave me all the tools and more to shine. So far, I feel like I've fumbled my way into learning how to do things here. There was no guidebook and rarely a true guide. I could always get an answer when asking a question, but again, often tripped to find the question. I don't doubt my skills and capabilities. I just need to find my rhythm again. Right now, I feel out of tune.