Braces… for better or worse

I was in high school when I first sprained my right ankle. I don’t recall the details, though I know it was due to soccer. I saw an orthopedist to ensure nothing was broken or completely torn. I have thera-bands that are probably as old as that original injury. However, I don’t remember if I went to physical therapy, a practice by which I now swear. After that injury, I purchased my first ankle brace. It seemed like a good, preventative, idea. Yet as the years have moved forward, I still sprain that same ankle, even with the brace. Sometimes I wonder if the brace helps or has slowly weakened the ankle. I tend to only wear braces for soccer (yep, I purchased one for the left ankle after destroying it in 2004). There again, that’s likely because that’s the only contact sport I play.

I have started to wonder, have I become too dependent on my ankle braces? Sometimes I think about trying to play without them. Then the “what if” creeps into my mind. What if I DO sprain it this one time? Am I going to feel like a moron for even trying? Is it worth the first chance of not wearing the braces versus knowing the brace may help for the next 6 months, year, maybe two, before I injure myself again?

I’m definitely on a hiatus until after the wedding. It’s better that way. There's no need to risk crutches in a pretty white dress. My prescription for physical therapy is on its way to the house. I will be working out with my trainer for the next several months. Perhaps it’s time to really work the ankles, to believe that they can be strong enough to go brace-less and to know that they are not as weak as I joke they are. Maybe it’s time to take off the training wheels that I have come to rely on. It’s possible, that the cutting and the movement, may actually strengthen and not injure. Every so often, I also contemplate hanging up my cleats. Though with each game I play, I remember exactly why I love it, with and without injuries.

Officially Sprained

The wedding is just over ten weeks away and I'm now in retirement from soccer until post honeymoon. Soccer - my first love and a sport that has given me incredible hardship. And subsequently, a lot of lessons over the years. A miss by a defender ended in a sprained ankle yesterday. I know it wasn't on purpose. Yet it's still frustrating. Luckily, I work from home. However those twenty three stairs between the office and kitchen are brutal.

I'm in relatively good spirits. I've done this enough to know exactly how the steps go. Rest, ice, compression and elevation. I contemplate a visit to the doctor, knowing it's practically a waste of money. I always thought you needed a prescription for physical therapy. Perhaps that is simply to run it through insurance. I should check my policy document (yep, nerd).

My brother is to be wed this weekend. I sincerely hope that I can make it down the aisle and back without crutches. Seriously crappy timing. I'm not sure he or his wife to be have quite figured out the implications of the injury.

Waiting

No matter how many interviews I've had. It only seems to vaguely get easier. I wrote this waiting for an interview:

I feel the pitter patter of my heart. I reminds myself to smile and breathe. You chose to be here and nowhere else. The scenery is warm. Colored though not overwhelming. There's very little curiosity as to why I'm here. Perhaps it's that obvious. In comparison, I look overdressed.

I stare at the poster on the wall. The words could have been my beliefs, written by me. I guess I would have figured that out earlier if I had paid more attention. I suppose that makes this more exciting and scary at the same time.

Working from Home

We've settled in to our temporary home on the peninsula. It's weird to be home, under the roof I remember most through my childhood. Mom setup a makeshift desk for me in the office. It works for what I need. The working at home experience has been interesting. At work, I'd wander from my desk to do something and would end up conversing with someone for often many minutes. At home, I'm constantly worried about being away for my desk for more than 5 minutes, at which point my IM indicator changes from green (available) to yellow (inactive). I've put some unnecessary pressure on myself to make sure that I demonstrat the amount of work that I accomplish. Fact is, my boss did put his neck out to allow me to continue to work for him.

I like the the flexibility to occasionally work from home, but the 24/7 experience leaves something to be desired. My coworkers are four legged friends who like to bark at everything that passes the house. They're not exactly conference call friendly. All that said, I thank my leader for this opportunity. Having a job during my move is 10 times better than not having one.

Hello California!

12 hours of packing, 47 hours in the car, 3 overnight stops and we arrived in California safely. No real hiccups on the road except a NE State Patrol who decided that I needed a fix ticket (no cost) because I didn't have a front license plate. I think he was bored, but it's already been fixed. :)

While on our road trip across the country, we celebrated my fiance's 30th birthday in Vegas - upgraded to an absolutely insane penthouse suite. Not shabby. I managed to surprise him by having 5 family members show up in Vegas, all of whom were given a weeks notice. I was quite proud of myself and even more excited that our families have the flexibility to make that work.

Now, we're back in CA! It's a bit surreal. So far it feels like an extended stay. I'm working from home and haven't quite gotten into the routine yet. Last night, I had an 8:15p soccer game. It felt so good to be on the pitch. However, I hurt so much today! This means that more gym time is needed ASAP.

On a temporary basis, we're staying at my mom's house and it's quite full. There are 5 of us here right now, plus the friends and family that come for a night or two. It makes dinner fun at least. That said, we're also getting use to a very different buying pattern and meal pattern. I'll admit, my fiance and I are very regimented in a lot that we do. While it may sound boring, it allows me to skip a couple gym days and not feel entirely lazy. I avoid certain foods by simply not purchasing them. It's not that I don't have a sweet tooth (because I definitely do!), I just try to control my intake of goodies. I'm not running 3-10 miles daily like I did growing up (yeah, cross country). This house on the other hand, has always been known for the junk food. It amazes me that nothing has changed.

Working from home seemingly gives me more time and yet, I feel like I accomplish less. Perhaps it's because when I log off, it's easy to get sucked into putting things away or wandering around the house. Or maybe it's because mundane work has me lethargic when I sign off. I'm sure it'll get better.

On that note, I'm going to find my iPod, my heart rate monitor and try a new gym.

Moving Parts

I'm tired, somehow functioning and slightly agitated. Thank goodness it's Friday! It seems that Google finally made a Blogger app. It always amazed me that it didn't happen sooner. Maybe I'll write more. By no means is it a lack of ideas, thoughts or experiences. It's simply that lately, I feel a love hate relationship with my phone. I've had to rely on my phone more and more recently to accomplish tasks. While the screen is big by phone standards, it's tiny compared to my 24 inch monitor at work. Plus, even with Swype, typing on my phone gets the best of me.

So why so much time and energy? It's primarily because communication doesn't stop when I go to work, but my computer access to email does.

I suppose I should take a few steps back. Last July, I was asked to be the Mrs of the love of my life. Since we met, we have generally been on the same page. One of those important items is where we want to settle down. I left the Bay Area in 2008, having one concrete thought, I'd be back. I never knew when or what stops I'd take between 2008 and my return, but I always knew, the Bay Area is home. Not only is my family nearby, but also a good portion of my sizable network is still local.

Fast forward to December 2011. My fiance and I return to California, Northern and Southern, for the holidays. Next thing I know, we are discussing making a move west. It felt very fictional at first, but as time went on, it became more real. First I was telling my boss that I was moving to California, though wasn't sure when. Within months, I informed him that I'd be moving at the end of March. And now, we're about a week from that date and all the pisces are falling into place. More to come...

Written Friday, March 9th

What Do You Say at 30?

It's lingering around the corner like a stalker that just won't get the hint - 30! Who would have thought we'd actually survive all those stupid things we did as kids? While a number of my friends have tangoed with 30, there are many of us counting down the days or months until that big day. Of course, with everyone turning 30 this year, I'm not sure I can handle all the big celebrations. I am getting "old" after all.

In the spirit of big birthdays, a friend's friend decided to compile 30 wishes from 30 friends. I think it's a touching and brilliant idea. However, what do you say at 30? My trusty friend Google gave me a couple quick ideas. I specifically liked this quote by Bob Dylan, "may you stay forever young." Slightly corny and maybe even a bit cliche, though it embeds everything I hope to accomplish as the years progress. "Adult" life can jade us. We forget that you work for more than the paycheck. Sometimes we have bad weeks, bad months, even horrible years, but with everything there's a reason (philosophical, I know). I hope to remember to have fun. While I may never have another time in my life where I don't have a care in the world. I hope to remember that age is just a number and youth is a feeling.

Not too long ago, my fiance and I painted pottery at a local studio. I made a "Cheerios" bowl - bright yellow with a red heart and "o's" inside. The outside read, Cheerios. But of course, the kid in me couldn't let the fact that I wanted paw prints and the color purple on my bowl, so I painted the bottom purple (can only be seen if you flip it over) and put paw prints on either side of my "Cheerios" signage. Perfect. As I washed it this evening, all I could think is that I'm just a big kid. It's moments like this where I feel youth.

So to my friend:

May you stay forever young. - Bob Dylan
30 is by no means the end of journey, so may this year be just one in a long string of fantastic years. Happy Birthday Miss 30! Rock it. Big hugs, Paige