Pause

It's slightly after 2p and I've finally found enough time to heat up my soup. Every once in a while, I bring food that requires a microwave before eating. More often than not, I munch on a sandwich or something out of my lunchbox. I've found that on busy days, the latter is more friendly to my work schedule. However, it also means that I rarely take the minute for me. It'd be one thing if the shortened lunch led to either me leaving earlier or frequenting the gym more often. Sadly, neither is the case. In today's 24/7 world, we all forget to pause.

Rumor has it that it's good to leave your desk for small periods of time. It increases the blood flow, gives your hands a break from typing and lets your mind relax. Unfortunately, I know neither myself nor my colleagues practice this.

My responsibilities are very cyclical. Every 4 or 5 weeks is close and I end up swampped for a week. Things subside, only long enough to catch up on all the miscellaneous requests sitting in my inbox. Yesterday, I made a big decision. I shut down my computer and went to the gym around 5p. It felt good! It's something I want to do more often. Work is important, but so is health and well being. I miss earning points through Humana Vitality for my physical activity. It was the little extra boost of motivation to do something.

Outside of work, my husband and I have been spending part of our weekends searching for houses. The market in the Bay Area is not friendly and half the stuff on the market is overpriced crap. I cringe when I walk into some of these places and know that the sellers will get close to their asking price because someone else is desperate. It's a vicious circle that doesn't help buyers when there's extremely low inventory. At this point, I don't like or dislike the house search. The reflection just reminds me of the other commitments I once had instead.

I haven't played soccer since before my brother's wedding. Spraining my ankle made me realize that the last thing I wanted for my wedding, was to go down the aisle on crutches. Needless to say, I miss the game. I miss the excitement. I missed having a weekly activitiy that while it is working out, never quite felt that way. Every time I think about rejoining a team, I wonder if I'm in shape enough. I always decide no and say when I get back in shape, I'll join a team. After a while, I guess this is the cart before the horse dilemma. As of right now, I'm clearly not focused enough. However, if I was playing weekly, I would be forced to either get in shape or deal with the consequences.

I think it's really time to pause and focus on myself...as long as life doesn't get in the way.