Oh, Rankings

We all say rankings don’t matter. However, when your school shoots up a couple spaces, there’s a sense of pride. Top 10, top 15, even top 25, they’re all fantastic educations and incredible experiences. We learn a lot about various subject areas, but we also learn a lot about ourselves. We build relationships and networks that will last a lifetime. We also find a number of people with similar interests that are highly driven to be successful. Each person may have a different definition of success, though that does not mean any one person’s definition is better than another. There are so many different rankings these days and there is no shortage of those joining the bandwagon. Your most well-known are US News and Reports, Princeton Review, Financial Times and The Economist. While each methodology is different, I say evaluate rankings with a grain of salt and try to understand what they are actually communicating via their methodology. One ranking may focus on criteria that is mute to you.

That said, I feel the need to give Darden a big shout for its newest ranking (as I said, they may not matter, but we still feel pride).

Darden #4 on the Economist list!

Moments Like This

So many times I start posts in my head, only to have them fade as memories. I craft the first two to three lines that would then develop into a whole post. However, lately, I can't seem to take the moment to write. Half the time, I'm on the bus and can't be bothered with the small keyboard on my phone. The other half the time, I'm at work, which of course means everything is blocked. I understand the philosophy of why sites are blocked including privacy and security risks, but personally I have found that I don't get the release I need to refocus on work.

At Darden, I spent hours studying. Every so often I would hit a brick wall, take ten minutes to write a post and quickly return to studying, feeling refreshed. I don't typically classify myself as a stressed person. Recently, I've been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. It is a very exciting time in my life as I plan a wedding. Yet, my family life is crumbing before my eyes and I don't know what to make of it. I feel helpless on so many levels. It's awkward. It's frustrating. Everything I have known for the last 30 years (almost) has been turned on its head. Wedding planning, which should be exciting, adds to the frustration. I contemplate a wedding planner. Granted,  a wedding planner doesn't pick your gown and bridesmaids dresses, which seems to be the real struggle these days.

This past weekend we headed back to San Francisco for our engagement party. Slowly, we tried to curtail the questions by mentally preparing people. Of course, that doesn't ensure that sensitive topics don't arise. It's inevitable that someone mentions something. I'm hoping going forward that we can focus on the happiness of the moment. (And in exciting news, I think we found photographer!) We'll see.

I cheated on Elle!

One thing guys may never understand about the fairer sex is our attachment to our hairdressers. I left the San Francisco area three years ago and since then, have not replaced nor cheated on Elle. Instead, I pay the price of a plane ticket, approximately every three months, just to get to the proximity of my beloved hairdresser. This does not include the price of a cut or color.

In the world of finance, it makes little sense. And I understand this as I do indeed still balance my checkbook (and did harass Bank of America when then accidentally shorted me $5 - it was the principle). However, Elle is not just anyone. I've known her since I was 17 years old and we've been good friends since. She's done hair for over 10 years and seeing I'm one of those people that seems to like drastic changes on a consistent basis (only when it comes to my hair - odd, yes), she has yet to steer me wrong. That said, every time I try a new stylist, I receive a new point of view on what I should do and sometimes that too is fun. I am fortunate to say that I have yet to have a "bad do."

When Elle said that she could not bestow her fabulousness on me prior to my engagement party on Saturday. I thought the hair could wait. Then I looked in the mirror (yes, we're all vain occasionally) and decided, it was time to try someone in Chicago. Groupon steered me towards J Gordon Designs. The irony, I didn't actually purchase the Groupon, I simply reviewed the salon on Yelp and called to see if they could put me. Plus, the salon is a measly block from my apartment. My stylist and I had a lot in common. My hair is darker than I anticipated, but it looks great. Not to mention, the checkbook is a little more full. We'll see if this becomes a habit.

Venue Search

Last weekend felt more like work than a holiday weekend. Saturday we left the house at 7a in order to arrive in St. Helena (Napa area) by 9a. Our appointments were back to back and by 2p we had visited six different venues. We took a breather at Starbucks and wandered through Union Square before our 5:30p appointment at the Merchants Exchange building in downtown San Francisco. I didn't know what to expect from the Julia Morgan Ballroom, but when I left, I knew I was in love. Both my fiance and I were excited about the venue, the coordinator and the ability to customize the space along with the food and alcohol. Not to mention, we were told we could party until dawn if we wanted! It was a vast contrast to the 11p final deadlines we saw in the Napa/Sonoma area.

Even though you think you find the "it". You still feel the need to make sure. We visited three very different venues on Sunday. Leal Vineyards, a beautiful winery that rivals many we saw in Napa, was the first stop. Stonepine Estates, which is a gorgeous estate with a lot of history was stop two. And finally, Pebble Beach, a breathtaking scene that could be enjoyed all night through the floor to ceiling glass windows of the reception venue, rounded out the day. By the end of the search, you learn what is important. Flexibility definitely weighed high. Easy access for out of town guests was another big consideration as at least 50% of our guest list resides outside the Bay Area. Beyond those two tangible items, I think the rest of it was feel. One of them just felt right. So right that we canceled our site visit on Monday. We were also exhausted.

While we haven't signed a contract, it looks like August 25, 2012 will be the big day. I'd say a successful weekend was had.

Wedding Venue Shopping

Brazil has come and gone. It was a fantastic vacation and reminded me how much I miss Darden and the close proximity of so many friends. Since our return almost two weeks ago, we have tried to get serious. The wedding venue list needed to be narrowed for our visit to the Bay Area this coming Labor Day weekend. The entire trip revolves around venue shopping. What an experience it has been thus far.

I find more and more that I have no idea what I want. Winery? Sounds fun with great photos in the vineyards! Beach setting? I love the ocean and the crash of the waves! A wedding in downtown San Francisco? You mean we could take photos near the Golden Gate Bridge, the symbol of the city I grew up near!? The good news is that my finance balances me with some decisive yays and nays as we peruse the internet for photos of each venue we like. What better way to see the venue in action than to look at actual wedding photos?

We also have run into some predicaments. In a perfect world, each venue would slot itself into the time allotted on my master spreadsheet. Unfortunately, some venues have weddings, are simply booked or the event coordinator will be no where in sight. This leaves more rearranging and subsequently some concessions on which venues we want to see. Another interesting problem we've had is venues not returning calls. Last I checked, we are still in a recession. Wedding = $$, so why can't someone simply picked up the phone? I'm not exactly sure. While it leaves a poor initial impression, there are some venues that I still want to see (and they are public). I wonder if I do see a venue on a "self-guided" tour and love it, will we be able to get ahold of the event coordinator the second time around?

I know wedding planning is a massive task. At this point, I'll just be happy to get a venue and date set. I've reached that age where many of my friends are getting engaged. It's a race to scoop up dates in 2012. At least I am trying to be flexible with a window of August to early October 2012.

Dirty Laundry

There are some items that very much should be kept in private. I realize that and yet it’s harder and harder sometimes. Events affect our emotions and with that our daily lives. Everyone chooses to take on events differently. Some shout from the mountain tops, which likely include Facebook and Twitter updates. Others keep a low profile to the point where no one knows anything is wrong. I try to strike a balance and lately it’s getting harder. I have my confidants. Yet with each word that I speak I risk a new perception being formed. Partially about me and partially about others.

July 28th was my parents’ 32nd wedding anniversary and it may also be their last. For a couple who many of my friends envied as the definition of love, it’s hard to wrap my head around the turmoil currently in my family. I’m sad. I’m frustrated. Sometimes I just want to scream from the rooftops and others I know better than to say anything at all. It hurts to feel so incredibly helpless. It’s weird being almost 30 and a year away from my own wedding to watch destruction run rampant in front of my eyes. I realize over many years, some people grow together and others grow apart. Mutual wants at this age can be very different than those later in life.

The timing is bad. The moving parts are hard to comprehend. My brother is getting married in mid-June 2012 and I’ll likely be 2-3 months after that. I don’t want this overshadowing the happiness that is to come and yet it reminds me all too well of the difficulties that lie ahead. Maybe there’s hope or maybe this is just better for all parties involved.

Balancing Time

It's been just over 3 weeks since the engagement. We've booked two trips back to SF. One to select a venue and one for an engagement party. It would be easier if I or he had any semblance of what we want in a venue or even where. So far, it's been San Francisco +/- 200 miles. Turns out there are a lot of venues in the area. Beach, vineyards, city or something in between. This weekend we stayed in to relax and pinpoint a list of venues to visit. The good news, we have decided that a beach wedding is out, vineyards are in and we will consider a couple venues in San Francisco.

Our only problem with vineyards is that my parents are what one might deem "opinionated" when it comes to wine. A vineyard may be beautiful, but if the family doesn't like the wine, I'm not sure how that is going to pan out.

Next up, I'm still trying to select my wedding party. It's a tough balance trying not to hurt anyone's feelings and recognizing that I can't give a nod to every wedding I've been in. The good news is I think my groom-to-be has figured out his list.

On Wednesday, we leave for 10 days in Brazil. I'm excited and yet have no idea what I'm going to pack. I've flipped through our documents and believe we have everything. We're making three very different stops on our journey. One to Belo Horizonte for a formal wedding of a Darden classmate, one to Iguassu Falls and the last stop will be Rio. It will be nice to not think about work for 2 weeks! Of course, I'm a little scared what the return will mean given that I'm the one finance consultant left in Illinois.

My transfer for Junior League of Chicago finally executed, which means that tonight I have to select a placement for the next JLC year. As I review the placements, I am trying to balance interest with time commitment. I am not sure how much time wedding planning with actually take and I don't want to risk disappointing one of my commitments.

It's time to figure out my balance - work, gym, wedding, JLC, soccer and me time.