Put a smile on your face it is Wednesday!!
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmother, elderly woman to the stand. He
approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of
you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in
jail for contempt."
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