Wednesday, January 09, 2008

And the Stress Mounts

Warning: A Bit Scatterbrained

Another day and another moment to worry about what if... What do I do if I don't get in? I'm ready to move away from my job, but if I don't get in and I choose to start this process again come fall, there's no reason to find a new job for 9 mos. Right? Granted, I could attempt to get this consulting career off the ground and start today, but then, do I postpone business school for another year. Indeed it may make sense, but I'll admit, I'm female and worry about, if I don't do it now, will I never do it? Questions, n-o answers.

At this point in the process, I don't exactly enjoy talking about business school anymore. I don't know if I'm definitely attending this Fall and I don't want too many people involved if it doesn't work out as planned. My mom's friend and I were talking at dinner tonight and she mentioned that I should ask for feedback from the schools to which I don't get accepted. Any thoughts? For a school like Kellogg, I can tell in some ways why I didn't get in, so is it worth the energy, on top of which, would they take the time to respond? I thought I heard once, that they USED to give feedback, but have since changed their policy. Indeed, this could simply be telephoned hearsay.

Unfortunately, about 20 minutes ago, I found out that my Grandfather passed. I'm not quite sure how to process this information yet. I know that sounds strange to most, but I believe my grandfather died when my grandmother passed over 4 years ago. They were married for over 50 years and she was his sole true love. He has been on the verge for years now. Modern medicine may be wonderful, but perhaps it's only for the living. What I mean is, he has been brought back, twice. The last time was a year ago and it's probably been that long since I have seen him. Although, I don't want to remember him as I do the last time I saw him. He asked the same question multiple times and every time we responded, it was as if our words didn't register. Sometimes, I wish I had been closer with him. He was in WWII as well as an investment professional, but I don't remember stories from either of those days.

R.I.P. Grandpa (no condolences needed...just take a moment to tell the ones around you that you love them)

I am very lucky to have the people that are in my life. I <3 You!

Downloaded a new song: Andain - Beautiful Things (Gabriel and Dresden Remix)


globetrotter415 said...

"Modern medicine may be wonderful, but perhaps it's only for the living." Very deep...totally understand.

HappyBunny said...

Worrying about 'What if' questions creats headaches and wastes your precious time. There is no answer to the 'What if' questions, because you don't have sufficient information to make a decision. Think forward, think positive, think about what you can do at this moment. Let your decisions flow in when you have sufficient information to help you. Worry about something you can't control is an awful feeling. Be positive, be happy. *hugs*

As for the baby thing, I often complains about the whole child situation for woman. I dont' think I'm going to have one until i'm close to 35 (hopefully twins at once so I don't have to go through it again, hehee... ). Babies are so much responsibility, it's like a 24hour job.

I'm sorry about your loss. My grandpa passed away last year right after my wedding. I was always his favorite. He was in and out of hospital for like a year, he got better the month before my wedding. We all thought he was going to become better. I wish they all are at a better place. *hugs*